Thursday, October 8, 2009

Through the Looking Glass

I know I don't look bad. In fact without sounded like a total ass I'm looking damn good right now (well earned!). But it's hard to stare at yourself in a mirror and not find the flaws. It's ingrained in us as Americans. The "Mad Men" of the real world have made sure of it. Make us insecure, we will buy your junk.

So instead of actually laying my real eyes on my mirror image, I am choosing to look through my "third eye", if you will.

Alright, so don't think I'm crazy. It's the yogini in me, what can I say? She's out today.

My kids are sick, so instead of my intended treadmill run at the gym yesterday morning I was forced to take it to the streets at an ungodly hour so Rey could watch the kids before he left for work. Half marathon training waits for no one, and yesterday was my "short run" day.

As I completed my three mile jaunt with ease, I thought back to the first day I tried running post Lila (this was last October 31st, to be exact). I planned to run 60 seconds/walk 2 minutes until 30 minutes was up.

I made it about 12 minutes before ending up at home, collapsed on my living room floor.

I was pretty sure I was dying.

I had never in my life been out of shape before. Reality set in that this is what happens after you've ejected three human beings from your body. The third one definitely took it's toll, fo' so'.

It took me a month to recover from this incident. Then I joined the gym.

Now I am, to my own shock and disbelief, training to run a half marathon. That's 13.1 miles, people. Cause I think running 26.2 is a little nuts. (Maybe next year!)

And as I looped my neighborhood this morning, it was hard not to think back to that morning, 11 months ago. Where then I felt desperation, now I feel defiance. Then I felt the failure, now I feel fierce. That me was weak. This me is tenacious.

So even though it's hard for me to ignore the imperfections, it's easy to see my strength.

You've got to ac-cent-uate the positive
Eliminate the negative
Latch on to the affirmative
Eliminate Mr. InBetween

Bing Crosby, gotta love him.

It's hard to be the body you were before birth, but it's amazing how strong you can become despite it. Or in spite of it.

Take your pick.


sherri said...

Well, I'm in horrible shape- I could NEVER run a 1/2 marathon, but I love you're positive outlook. Accentuate the positive is where we have to start!

Amber Page Writes said...

This is such an inspiration! I'm trying desperately to get back into shape, post-baby...and still in the painful, this sucks stage.

Good luck with the training!

Mama Kat said...

Yeah I think even a HALF marathon is a little on the cuckoo side! Good for you! It's the best feeling isn't it!?!

Gigi said...

HOnestly?? A 1/2 marathon? You totally ROCK! You go girl!

Margaret aka: Fact Woman said...

Wow, as they say, You've Come a Long Way Baby!!! A half marathon, I don't even like driving that far!

Eliza said...

Wow!! Keep up the great work!

My new blog is up, would love to have you visit!